Heart Pounding

It's been a while for me to post anything.

I was busy studying at Mersing where it is kinda a deserted place but still the environment and place is still new. It's comfortable being there actually rather than being at any other polytechnic.

Yes, i never updated anything ever since my back stabbing friends gave me a lot of headache at Polytechnic. Now, I've gain some new love experience too. Yes, he became my Ex now and ive already got a new boyfriend. If you are reading this Mr A, I never forgot you even tough you stop messaging or even call me again. I would never forget the guy who tries to sing a song that i love so much. I never found a guy who tries to bring me happiness more than anything he could have. 

I never even taught that we would break up in that situation, i taught that you would change for the best of us. I wish that i could turn back time and i should start fresh with the things that i wanted to do with you first. The guy who would be my Imam when i am Halal to you. I guess this is some sort of challenge that God gave to us. I hope that you would do fine without me. I hope that you wouldn't throw out any of my stuff  that i have given to you. The only thing that i have right now is only your picture. I hope that you wouldn't delete mine dear Mr A.

A new boyfriend, yes. Still, it takes time to get used into a new environment. Takes time to get to know a guy who doesn't even know a thing about you. A guy might be your future husband. I was a nerd, i don't know how to express my feelings by just talking there still something left deep inside my heart that i couldn't even express my self. The only thing that i could do is just by crying. 

I don't have a lot of friends in high school. I get bullied a lot till i wished that i could just die back then. I know most of them would just talk back about me because of my hideous face but i didn't know what to do. I don't have a supportive mom like you guys have. I tried a lot of products to make my skin look nice and fair, it's hard. Since i have to save up my pocket money and buy my own face product that is not even worth it.

Till now, i tried to make my self pretty so that when i go to public they wont ever talk about my ugly face again. I felt like crying but i don't know to how i should share my stories. Since my blog is a bit dusty so there would be a lot of chance where no one would read my stories. I could write a whole bunch of sad stories here. Whenever i'm in my bad mood, this will be a diary to keep my self charge up from a moody person to a cheerful girl.

I just wish that i was prettier. 

thanks for reading

1 comment:

  1. hepi bufday mamageisha..smoga segala yg dihajati dpt dikecapi dgn mudah..have a great life..Have a clear vision of what you want and think what's possible while maintaining high standards. Ask "why not?" and see any obstacles as challenges, not deterrents, as you creatively work to overcome them..and.. smile always.. i really miss your smile... a lot!!