Heart Pounding

It's been a while for me to post anything.

I was busy studying at Mersing where it is kinda a deserted place but still the environment and place is still new. It's comfortable being there actually rather than being at any other polytechnic.

Yes, i never updated anything ever since my back stabbing friends gave me a lot of headache at Polytechnic. Now, I've gain some new love experience too. Yes, he became my Ex now and ive already got a new boyfriend. If you are reading this Mr A, I never forgot you even tough you stop messaging or even call me again. I would never forget the guy who tries to sing a song that i love so much. I never found a guy who tries to bring me happiness more than anything he could have. 

I never even taught that we would break up in that situation, i taught that you would change for the best of us. I wish that i could turn back time and i should start fresh with the things that i wanted to do with you first. The guy who would be my Imam when i am Halal to you. I guess this is some sort of challenge that God gave to us. I hope that you would do fine without me. I hope that you wouldn't throw out any of my stuff  that i have given to you. The only thing that i have right now is only your picture. I hope that you wouldn't delete mine dear Mr A.

A new boyfriend, yes. Still, it takes time to get used into a new environment. Takes time to get to know a guy who doesn't even know a thing about you. A guy might be your future husband. I was a nerd, i don't know how to express my feelings by just talking there still something left deep inside my heart that i couldn't even express my self. The only thing that i could do is just by crying. 

I don't have a lot of friends in high school. I get bullied a lot till i wished that i could just die back then. I know most of them would just talk back about me because of my hideous face but i didn't know what to do. I don't have a supportive mom like you guys have. I tried a lot of products to make my skin look nice and fair, it's hard. Since i have to save up my pocket money and buy my own face product that is not even worth it.

Till now, i tried to make my self pretty so that when i go to public they wont ever talk about my ugly face again. I felt like crying but i don't know to how i should share my stories. Since my blog is a bit dusty so there would be a lot of chance where no one would read my stories. I could write a whole bunch of sad stories here. Whenever i'm in my bad mood, this will be a diary to keep my self charge up from a moody person to a cheerful girl.

I just wish that i was prettier. 

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thanks for reading

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